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An interview with Julian Barratt.

I:
How seriously do you want people to take you?
Julian:
I want to be taken seriously as one of the greatest thinkers of our time.
I:
How much inspiration do you get from friends?
Julian:
I hate them all.
I:
Does hanging out with dark artsy people sit well with being a comedian?
Julian:
I don’t particularly like being a comedian, or being thought of as one. I want the dark artsy people to surround me and impregnate me with their shadows.
I:
Do you have a dark side?
Julian:
No. I am a very uncomplicated, open, free, and happy person with a sunny disposition.
I:
Is stand up comedy sexy?
Julian:
I don’t think it’s mysterious enough. It’s too much like selling. Or crowd control. I stopped doing it some years ago and am completely happy I did.
I:
How important is London as a base to you?
Julian:
London gives me friends and panic attacks.
I:
Style is obviously important to you.
Julian:
Sometimes I wish I could dress up and doll myself up like Chris or Noel, but I look odd in make up, like a perverted vicar. Most often it doesn’t coincide with the person I imagine I look like. I like to imagine that I’m tall and willowy and yet, when I catch myself in the mirror, I see a portly, writer-shaped man with tiny red eyes, like a magician’s rabbit.
I:
What’s the best thing about Noel?
Julian:
His big black balls.

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96 notes

Let me tell you something about Bob Fossil. We were best friends at the Zooniverse. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then one time, I started splicing animals together in my lab which was totally amazing but it got destroyed when they escaped, and Fossil was like, weirdly jealous of it. Like, if I would blow him off to splice some mutants, he’d be like, “You wanna fly a kite?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my welcome home party, which was for me coming back from the Tundra, I was like, “Fossil, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a retard.” I mean I couldn’t have a retard at my party. There were gonna be intellectuals there, smoking pipes. I mean, right? He was a RETARD. So then his shaman friend called my writer friend and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he stopped working at the Zooniverse because no one would talk to him, and when he came back to Dalston later, his shirts were still really tight and he was working at The Velvet Onion, and now I guess he’s a renius.

(Source: theashcroftmoon)

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