Let me tell you something about Bob Fossil. We were best friends at the Zooniverse. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then one time, I started splicing animals together in my lab which was totally amazing but it got destroyed when they escaped, and Fossil was like, weirdly jealous of it. Like, if I would blow him off to splice some mutants, he’d be like, “You wanna fly a kite?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my welcome home party, which was for me coming back from the Tundra, I was like, “Fossil, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a retard.” I mean I couldn’t have a retard at my party. There were gonna be intellectuals there, smoking pipes. I mean, right? He was a RETARD. So then his shaman friend called my writer friend and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he stopped working at the Zooniverse because no one would talk to him, and when he came back to Dalston later, his shirts were still really tight and he was working at The Velvet Onion, and now I guess he’s a renius.
(Source: theashcroftmoon)
